What a unique Christmas this has been. I learned this time that I'm surrounded by masks - disguise-wearing lies that dance while looking down and shunning every thing good and holy and pure. Officially my life is innocent like a child no more. And after all this I feel so much regret and so much sorrow for Mother, because she seems like the only source of warmth-giving light.
I've never seen a perfect marriage. Doubt I ever will. There's lots of pain associated with it. Complacencies, betrayals, nelgects, affairs - such evils seem all too common in today's twisted and rotting societies. I'd rather just die and enjoy the journey. But of course that ain't happenin'. I'm not lucky enough.
Tainted and corrupted is me for I anxiously seek the ready pleasures of the world. Decayed and withered is my heart for I growingly refuse to believe in a heaven that is a giant cube.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Extremists in general and the way of the sword
At this sliced peeping view into my life, I'd say avoid extremists. There are always two sides. And I say that either say is not a good place to be, although both sides will say otherwise. Don't be a sheep with perfectly good eyes who's blinded by those who are far out there. I'm being too general, way too general. Unless you know what I'm talking I'm just wasting my time and your time.
The way of the sword - I don't understand what this means. I'm not soaking any of this "warrior spirit" bull crapness. I'm not training to be an efficient killer who can cut a man in two from the top of his head to his torso, though that is what some swordsmen might have you assuaded.
I am in the middle. I am neutral. I am a healthy skeptic to every thing and every one. No, I am not lukewarm - don't be foolish to misinterpret me. I am at peace. I am with joy. I am a human being.
The way of the sword - I don't understand what this means. I'm not soaking any of this "warrior spirit" bull crapness. I'm not training to be an efficient killer who can cut a man in two from the top of his head to his torso, though that is what some swordsmen might have you assuaded.
I am in the middle. I am neutral. I am a healthy skeptic to every thing and every one. No, I am not lukewarm - don't be foolish to misinterpret me. I am at peace. I am with joy. I am a human being.
Friday, December 15, 2006
An Avanade Christmas Gathering.
So I had my first major networking event with Avanade, the consulting firm that I now work for.
Lot's of cool, hip peeps, them Avanauts. I met my recruiters for the first time since going thru the recruiting process, which was nice. Met my career manager, Toshi, which was cool too. Met new folks, which was fun of course. It was awesome to finally put faces to a company that operates thru virtual offices.
The bar was endless and on the house. This of course meant that I had a Blueberry Margarita, a Rum & Coke, a Greyhound, and a Heinekin. I really needed this too because today especially was a stressful day, even though I worked from home. I met someone who seemed genuinely interested in martial arts, spirituality, and justice for the poor. I have a hunch she was just trying to stir some interest. Anyway, if it wasn't for this party I'd be with a highschool girl friend (not girlfriend) drinking cocktails at a very local club. Small world, because I learned not too long ago that she lives one block away. And she happens to work from home on Fridays, just like me.
Lot's of cool, hip peeps, them Avanauts. I met my recruiters for the first time since going thru the recruiting process, which was nice. Met my career manager, Toshi, which was cool too. Met new folks, which was fun of course. It was awesome to finally put faces to a company that operates thru virtual offices.
The bar was endless and on the house. This of course meant that I had a Blueberry Margarita, a Rum & Coke, a Greyhound, and a Heinekin. I really needed this too because today especially was a stressful day, even though I worked from home. I met someone who seemed genuinely interested in martial arts, spirituality, and justice for the poor. I have a hunch she was just trying to stir some interest. Anyway, if it wasn't for this party I'd be with a highschool girl friend (not girlfriend) drinking cocktails at a very local club. Small world, because I learned not too long ago that she lives one block away. And she happens to work from home on Fridays, just like me.
Friday, December 8, 2006
A Snapshot of My Life on December 8, 2006
This is the first I am writing about because it just so happens to be the first thing on my mind right now. No, I'm not a workaholic, at least not yet; but it has been on the forefront of me for a month now. It is my 1 month anniversary at Avanade. Just when I get comfortable being at wherever I'm located, whether it be at a remote client location or at home, I wake up the next day only to catch a plane, again. Invested with deep pockets on my career though, I'm heavily vested now. What a very wonderful thing for a guy who can't make up his stubborn little mind. This'll keep me grounded.
In general, my days of jeans and sneakers for work are over. A new era of leather-laced shoes, cotton-twilled fabric, and button-down dress shirts freshly pressed is the call of the day. Okay, maybe not that fancy all week, but I do like to mix it up with some business casual.
Not to go the same route as my last short-lived career, I am keeping occupied and distracted by a new and unfamiliar sport - Japanese fencing, aka Kendo. It's been 3-4 weeks as a beginner. It takes much more discipline than strength, reflex, or stamina. This is going to be good for me, I can tell. So when my sensei says I'm ready, I will invest in $500-$600 worth of armor - clothing and other equipment not included. Again, this level of involvment in Kendo will not see the light of day until my feet are graceful, my body brain-washed, and my mind distant and focused. Good thing I'm still clumsy like an ox, hungry like a hippo, and clueless like a squirrel - I can't afford Kendo.
In general, my days of jeans and sneakers for work are over. A new era of leather-laced shoes, cotton-twilled fabric, and button-down dress shirts freshly pressed is the call of the day. Okay, maybe not that fancy all week, but I do like to mix it up with some business casual.
Not to go the same route as my last short-lived career, I am keeping occupied and distracted by a new and unfamiliar sport - Japanese fencing, aka Kendo. It's been 3-4 weeks as a beginner. It takes much more discipline than strength, reflex, or stamina. This is going to be good for me, I can tell. So when my sensei says I'm ready, I will invest in $500-$600 worth of armor - clothing and other equipment not included. Again, this level of involvment in Kendo will not see the light of day until my feet are graceful, my body brain-washed, and my mind distant and focused. Good thing I'm still clumsy like an ox, hungry like a hippo, and clueless like a squirrel - I can't afford Kendo.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)