the Book of Five Rings

Some people have asked me if taking Kendo lessons is conflicting with my christian spirituality. My answer is simple - "No, it does not." Why should it? Just because I'm tactically training to strike a torso, slice a head, or chop off a wrist, that doesn't make me a bad person. Does it? Of course not!

Today is the day I pick up my sword. No, it's the day I pick up my sword and stand in the front lines. No no no. Today's the day I make my first kill. I know this is cryptic talk, but I suppose only I can understand.

Twisted and rotting.

What a unique Christmas this has been. I learned this time that I'm surrounded by masks - disguise-wearing lies that dance while looking down and shunning every thing good and holy and pure. Officially my life is innocent like a child no more. And after all this I feel so much regret and so much sorrow for Mother, because she seems like the only source of warmth-giving light.

I've never seen a perfect marriage. Doubt I ever will. There's lots of pain associated with it. Complacencies, betrayals, nelgects, affairs - such evils seem all too common in today's twisted and rotting societies. I'd rather just die and enjoy the journey. But of course that ain't happenin'. I'm not lucky enough.

Tainted and corrupted is me for I anxiously seek the ready pleasures of the world. Decayed and withered is my heart for I growingly refuse to believe in a heaven that is a giant cube.

Extremists in general and the way of the sword

At this sliced peeping view into my life, I'd say avoid extremists. There are always two sides. And I say that either say is not a good place to be, although both sides will say otherwise. Don't be a sheep with perfectly good eyes who's blinded by those who are far out there. I'm being too general, way too general. Unless you know what I'm talking I'm just wasting my time and your time.

The way of the sword - I don't understand what this means. I'm not soaking any of this "warrior spirit" bull crapness. I'm not training to be an efficient killer who can cut a man in two from the top of his head to his torso, though that is what some swordsmen might have you assuaded.

I am in the middle. I am neutral. I am a healthy skeptic to every thing and every one. No, I am not lukewarm - don't be foolish to misinterpret me. I am at peace. I am with joy. I am a human being.