8:43pm

can't remember when, but i've been since drinking at least a mug of coffee every morning.
even on weekends i feel like going to a local coffee shop and get my fix.
and i try to convince myself that i'm not addicted, no i'm not, i can't be.
but in that exact same pattern of thought i convince myself that i am, because i am addicted.
at the office i honestly believe that i am the best coffee maker.
nobody makes coffee like i do.

even though i'm here late in the office, not doing any work really, i feel these waves of joy,
like a seizure stimulating my brain from left to right, and right to left.
the strange and funny thing is that i can't figure out why i'm getting this positive turbulance.
i'd like to believe that certain burdens have been lifted. i can certainly hope can't i?
strange that i feel this way because there be 1,000 things i wish to change about myself.
if i could go in for an "upgrade" i swear - cross my heart and hope to die - i'd be a better person.

nah. no burdens have been lifted. no revelations. no one thing is making me feel this.
rather i think it's the deafening silence in the office.
the darkness, the stillness, the quietness.
i'm alone here, and it's giving me a chance to subconsciously sift through some thoughts and allow me to reorganize and reprioritize what's relevant to me.

now, i believe, it is time to go home.
5:58pm