the different splendid people

I think I partially understand why I am so drawn in to this world of kendo, the samuari, and nearly all things East Asian. It is because of its exotic and vast differences when compared side by side with the west. So this whole experiment with cutting out organized church attendance is another realm of that freedom of expression.

This world, especially the western part of it, says that by a certain age you should live, be, and work a certain way. That certain way is general and broad and encapsulating of many things of subjects, interpretations, cultures and so much more. But if one deviates from this mindlessly accepted normality, then the one is shunned, shamed, but not quite ostracised. Being casted out would be too easy, it would be a blessing. Instead the one is still included so that the one may be a scapegoat, an object of ridicule, and a lower rank for the quasi-mindless masses to have something to focus on when they so desperately and helplessly look down and away from the reachless higher ranking few.

But I doubt I can last too much longer being away from that ever so familiar spiritual territory. I grow hollower each week, each month. The distance between God and I are farthest it has ever been. Doubt is endless, hope is few, love distant, and faith dwindling. Until next time my fellow kendokas....until next time.