Tuesday, September 20, 2005

these early autumn days

as a birthday gift i received a folding bed. and even though i think it is less comfortable than sleeping on the floor, i am still very grateful for it.

life. what a life. could my life be any more pathetic? why am i always living in the past? eddie, let the pride go. some days i just shoot myself in the foot. those are the days i feel like i haven't grown up, and it's probably because i haven't, not fully, not yet. but i guess that this is just a stepping stone to something greater. i can not wait to see the day when this pathetic life becomes something worthwhile.

they say patience is a virtue. i think that is true. but if i think it true why do i forget it? maybe i dont believe it. or maybe i'm just apathetic. or maybe i'm just a hypocrite. it took me a long time to be able to comprehend and interpret analog clocks. my point is that i'm really slow at learning new things. i mean really slow. i admire people with patience. i admire them even more for being patient with me. therefore it makes me want to be abundantly patient with everybody else. but i'm not. i'm not patient with everybody. and maybe that is why i feel miserable.

to be continued in the morning...

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