Whats more sad, having no best friend, or having best friends who dont even know they're your best friend? My friends live north of me by probably a good 20+ miles. They have cool, well-behaved kids, kids that any parents would want. Theyre a couple of model children if you ask me. They really are.
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A few days ago i felt my heart break, again. It wasn't a shattering of sorts, but rather more like a lump of clay that fell on a hard, wooden floor with a solid "thump". How foolish i was to think that she could like me. Yes, it was like a thump of solid earthen mass, perhaps because i subconsciously knew she wasnt really all that into me. It hurts alot though, really painful gaping hole in the heart and soul, because i felt really convinced and very good about her. I was so attracted to her, so much more than just the physical.
What makes this whole thing so much more painful is that just the day before the fateful day, we were holding hands, holding each other, smiling, laughing, cracking wise jokes and sarcastic comments, and even a few nice spontaneous kisses. And we even spent a good 90 minutes in a botanical garden, like 2 love birds. And somehow, like something out of a crazy, unbelievable plot in a soap opera, her attitude changes the very next day. She's cold and distant. And im left feeling like the Incredible Amazing Foolish Man.
Every now and then, i think of her. Every now and then, i can feel the void she left in my heart, in my life.
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